Purging the demons
by boffin
Summary: post s7 ramblings. Gotta get these things outta my head. completed, sort of, resubmitted, language rated mostly, BF


Disclaimer: Joss & ME own the characters. I'm only the nutter who envisages then in different   
  
scenarios. I make no profit. But I have to get this insanity out of my head. I see scenarios, snippets,   
  
vignettes and you get to fill the blanks. We all have our own imaginations so just deal! I just need to   
  
vent.   
  
I guess you'll find B/F in here, which interestingly, despite my lifestyle choices, only occurred to   
  
me after Chosen and now it feels so right, so why did I miss it? God, now I have about 4 or 5   
  
different scenarios in my head, some AU, some post Chosen, and I have to get them out! Jeez,   
  
psycho much! This is the first of them, and I will not go back and improve it or make it longer or   
  
better!  
  
Feedback: What ever, like I need your validation!   
  
Distribution: If you really want it go for it, like it's worth anything!

* * *

They looked back at the remains of Sunnydale, in silence.  
  
"Some party, B! We sure trashed the place", Faith quipped.  
  
A wry smile flashed across Buffy's face.  
  
"Yeah, remind me to check the guest list next time", she countered.  
  
"Well, uh.. time to motor… walls to mend and all….." Faith said as she climbed off the bus.  
  
Buffy spun around.  
  
"Faith?…wait, where are you going?"  
  
The others echoed her question. "Hang on a minute!", "Aren't you staying?', 'Faith?"  
  
"Back to L.A. I still got some time and an escape to face"  
  
Buffy stood rooted in place as the others encircled Faith  
  
"Faith, no you can't go back"  
  
"You're out now, what's the point?"  
  
"What's done is done, Faith!"  
  
But Faith was only looking for, listening for, the words of one person.  
  
The protestations slowed as the group realised Faith wasn't listening and, slowly, they   
  
turned around to look at Buffy.  
  
Buffy was staring back at Faith, indecision flickered across her face.  
  
An eternity of silence passed and Buffy saw Faith's body tense as she once again   
  
prepared herself to leave.  
  
"Faith… I … God so much has happened and I haven't digested any of it. But… but one   
  
thing I know is… no good purpose would be served by you going back to jail. We'll call   
  
Angel & Wes and get them to sort all this out."  
  
The group breathed a collective sigh of relief.  
  
"B… wouldn't it be easier if I was there to help? To face it? We're all done here aren't   
  
we?"  
  
"No.. not done…not by a long shot!"  
  
"You asking me to hang around?"  
  
"Yes.. please"  
  
"No probs, B. You only had to ask" Faith chuckled.

* * *

**Much Later**  
  
"Will?.. I need to talk to you.."  
  
"Buffy what did you do?" Willow interrupted as Buffy entered her office.  
  
"What do you mean?" Buffy was confused  
  
"Faith.." Willow didn't need to finish her sentence as she saw her best friends face change   
  
from confusion to realisation.  
  
"Wa.. what did Faith say?" Buffy asked quietly  
  
"Not much. She stormed in here about 8.00am, saying she needed to get away. She   
  
looked like she'd been crying. What the fuck happened?"  
  
"We ahh , we happened.."  
  
"And.."  
  
"And what, we had a fantastic night, we danced, we drank and we ended up back in her   
  
room and I had the greatest night of my life"  
  
"So why was she so upset?"  
  
"I dunno, I guess, I kinda left early"  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I woke early, feeling so safe and warm in her arms, and I looked at her and I got scared.   
  
Got scared of how I felt, scared she didn't feel the same way so I came home to clear my   
  
head"  
  
"Oh Buffy…" Willow tried to hide the disappointment in her voice but Buffy flinched at the   
  
sound.  
  
"Where is she?" Buffy asked quietly  
  
"She's gone.."  
  
"Gone?"  
  
"On a job, she's gone to get the Potential from Moscow."  
  
"Oh"  
  
"I guess you've got a week to get your head together. When are you two going to get your   
  
shit together and start telling each other the truth?"  
  
"As soon as she comes home, Will, we'll sort it as soon as she comes home!" Buffy said   
  
with steely resolve.

Two weeks had passed without a word from Faith and then the Russian potential arrived   
  
from Moscow, alone. Her English wasn't fantastic but they managed to establish that there   
  
had been some trouble with the locals, Russian Mafia apparently, and a demon. Faith had   
  
given the girl her passport and gotten her out of there and would make her own way home.  
  
The next day Buffy had fallen ill and was delirious, calling out Faith's name. They had   
  
been unable to work out what was wrong with her, nor could they find Faith. Another   
  
month had passed.

* * *

Willow was in her office, head in her hands, sobbing quietly, when her private line rang.  
  
"H..Hullo"  
  
"Hey Red" a quiet, tired voice spoke.  
  
"Faith!", she exclaimed, "Where the hell are you"  
  
"Exactly. Turn the recorder on; I need to tell you a few things"  
  
Faith knew Willow recorded a lot of her phone calls so she didn't have to repeat the words.  
  
"This is the first clear day I've had in a while, couldn't call earlier"  
  
"What's happened? Are you OK?"  
  
"Did the Russian chick make it?"  
  
"Of course Faith, you did good?"  
  
"Fuck Red, we're OK aren't we? I made amends didn't I?"  
  
"Of course Faith, a thousand times over. Now we need you to come home"  
  
"Can't do that, Red. Things have got a bit fucked up over here!". Willow could hear the   
  
sorrow in Faith's voice.  
  
"Tell her.. Tell Buffy. I'm sorry for everything, tell her she gave me one of my secret   
  
desires, and tell her I finally understood what heaven was like cos I had it that night with   
  
her. OK? Will you tell her?"  
  
"Faith come home and tell her yourself" Willow said almost angrily.  
  
"Red, I can't, I don't have much time. There's another Big Bad!" Willow heard Faith draw a   
  
breath, willing herself to reveal the information she needed to provide.  
  
"Red, it's Angelus, he's back"  
  
"No, he can't be. Angel is mortal now!"  
  
"One cannot be without the other", Faith said bitterly, " I think they just took the demon out   
  
and put it somewhere else. He's sorta trapped at the moment. Like the master was I   
  
imagine"  
  
"Faith you have to get away from there"  
  
"Not sure I can Red, They've had me, they broke me. Used her against me, she broke me"   
  
Willow couldn't make sense out of what Faith was saying but maybe this was part of the   
  
reason why Buffy was so sick.  
  
"She is there Red, with you? At the Academy? Isn't she"  
  
"She's here, why?"  
  
"I couldn't bear it if it was really her here, couldn't have… She keeps opening up old   
  
wounds.."  
  
"Faith, fight, we need you here. Buffy needs you"  
  
"She's got you Red and the Scoobies"  
  
"It's not the same Faith, she needs you, she's in trouble. I .. I think she's dying!"  
  
"Fuck Red, I can't.. They're gonna feed me to him tonight"  
  
"Faith!"  
  
"I'll do my best Red, I'll go down fighting. But Red. aah, Willow, one thing"  
  
"Yes, Faith"  
  
"Make sure Mr Pointy is ready"

* * *

Several hours later, Buffy screamed. Her fever broke. And she hoarsely whispered Faith's   
  
name.  
  
A week later, Buffy was recovering, still weak but coherent. She refused to speak about   
  
her illness.   
  
"I can't Will, I have to wait to talk to Faith. I was stuck in her head and I couldn't get out."   
  
She told Willow one morning "She's coming though, our connection is getting stronger.   
  
She's almost here"  
  
Suddenly the human perimeter alarms sounded, it was 5.00am.  
  
The Academy went into action, preparing for a battle.  
  
No battle came.   
  
"Fuck" said Buffy several hours later, "My spidey senses are going off the wall. She's here   
  
I can feel it. Where the hell is she?"  
  
They searched the Academy again, no sign of entry could be found, nor any sign of Faith.  
  
"Wait.." Buffy stopped at the entrance to the central courtyard she walked into the   
  
courtyard. The tingling at the back her neck going berserk. 'Where the fuck is she?'  
  
"Faith!" Buffy screamed her name in frustration and fear.  
  
A voice, hoarse, quiet from the middle of the bushes.  
  
"B?..Buffy? He's.. coming"  
  
"God please be alive, please be alive, please be alive, please be alive" Buffy's new mantra   
  
as she watched Giles and Willow check the body beneath the bushes.  
  
"There's a heartbeat, barely there, but there" Giles said gravely  
  
"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God," another new mantra  
  
"Buffy?…"  
  
"Take care of her Giles" Buffy pleaded.  
  
"Right come on, we have a demon to kill"

* * *

She's first aware of arms holding her, cradling her and of feeling safe, warm, protected.   
  
Never remembering having felt so safe in all her life. She drew a deep breath, capturing   
  
the scent of the person who lay holding her and immediately recognised.  
  
"B!" she exclaimed quietly.  
  
'She's here, lying here, holding me! So we're….' she began sobbing "I'm sorry"  
  
Her partner awoke and listened quietly to the crying. She heard the garbled apology. She   
  
squeezed gently, trying to soothe the troubled soul.  
  
"Hey you" Buffy said quietly  
  
The sobbing slowed  
  
"Hey"  
  
There was a silence.  
  
"How long?" Faith asked  
  
"A month" was the reply  
  
"And you've been here?..."  
  
"Since you came back!"  
  
"Oh"  
  
More silence  
  
"Big battle?"  
  
"Huge. We won!"  
  
"Of course. Losses?"  
  
"Mishka and.. Xander", Buffy felt the body beneath her stiffen and the tears start again.  
  
"Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I should never have tried to come back"  
  
"Faith it's not your fault. He made a choice. To be with us. To keep fighting. The evil is   
  
always gonna come and we are always gonna fight. It's not your fault."  
  
"But there's always a price"  
  
"Yes, there is and we are going to have deal with that. And we will deal and we'll do it   
  
together."  
  
More tears, from both of them.  
  
"How'd you end up here, B?"  
  
"I want to be here Faith"  
  
"In Hell? With me?"  
  
"Hell?.. This is not hell Faith. If anything it's heaven. But only if we were dead"  
  
"Only?... We're not dead?.. Fuck Oh Fuck" Faith rolled out of Buffy's arms and off the bed   
  
"Oh Fuck"  
  
"What.. Oh B, what I did? The things I did! The things you.. she made me do."  
  
"I know Faith" Buffy reached to console her friend  
  
"Don't touch me" Faith spat at Buffy  
  
"Faith, please.."  
  
"I can't, oh God B, the things I did. I can't bear it. I should be dead. I should be in hell. I   
  
was so fucking evil"  
  
"Faith, no, you couldn't help it. They had you so drugged up, on heroin and that little bitch   
  
demon.. I killed her for you Faith"  
  
"Yeah and I thought for a while it was you. You were in my head telling me you loved me   
  
and you.. she was asking me to do things because I loved you and I did them and they   
  
broke me, B. You broke me. And the things I did" Faith wailed  
  
"I know Faith, I saw" Buffy said quietly  
  
"Oh God I should have been strong. I'm a Slayer for fuck's sake. No I'm weak. I'm just the   
  
no good, evil murderous whore you all thought I was"  
  
"Faith, No, you are not"  
  
"I have to go back. I have to make it right. I have to make amends"  
  
The arguments continued for 3 weeks.  
  
"Faith, I love you!"  
  
"B.. Buffy I know but I can't love you anymore until I make this right. I can't love you until I   
  
love me and right now I can't love anything"  
  
"But Faith"  
  
"But nothing B, you know I have to do this!"  
  
"God, Faith do you think we'll ever get this right"  
  
"I'm counting on it Buffy. It's all I have.. but I have to do this. You get that don't you"  
  
"Yes Faith I get it, I just don't have to like it!"  
  
It was September 2004 and Faith was gone again.

* * *

Emailed correspondences  
  
December 2004  
  
Hey B  
  
I haven't called, I wasn't sure what to say. Just letting you know I'm thinking of you over   
  
Christmas.  
  
Faith

* * *

January 2005  
  
Hey B  
  
Things are looking up here, I guess I'm getting used to the icy stares but there is less   
  
hatred behind them now. I can never bring back their loved ones but we are doing a good   
  
job of cleaning up the demons and vamps around here ( we even managed to get the   
  
freakin' Mafia to move out of town). I've met a guy here who is really helping me. Maybe   
  
one day I'll heal!  
  
Until then  
  
Yours always Faith

* * *

February 2005  
  
Hey Red  
  
Things have finally turned around here and I guess it's time to move on. Olga has really   
  
come through the training and her Watcher is pretty cool. She's got good support from a   
  
couple of friends so she should be alright. Give her a few more weeks before you drag her   
  
back to the Academy for Buffy training :).  
  
How's things there?  
  
Listen I guess I'm sorta dawdling home so if there are any other potentials or SiTs that   
  
need a hand in Europe, let me know if I can help.  
  
Faith

* * *

March 2005  
  
B,  
  
You didn't reply to my last email so I guess you are still kinda pissed at me leaving. Can't   
  
say I blame you. I hope one day we can sort all this out and go back to being friends. That   
  
I would like most of all, being your friend. I hear Dawn is studying hard for senior year and   
  
that you've taken over the martial arts training. I wish you both much love  
  
Your Friend  
  
Faith

* * *

March 2005  
  
Hey Red  
  
I guess you got the Swedish chick there and I've been checking out this Czech and I   
  
guess I've had a bit of an idea. See this Czech kid, Rula, is a bit like I was, and needs   
  
some financial support and I guess well, I wanna give it to her. I guess this is a bit of a   
  
story but..  
  
The mayor kinda left me his estate and from what I was told all those years ago there's a   
  
few bucks floating around. But I've never wanted to touch it cos well evil money probably   
  
stolen from the people of sunnyD etc etc. But now I'm thinking wouldn't it piss him off if we   
  
used it as a Slayer slush fund. So I've added an encrypted file with the account details in it.   
  
I figure this girl needs a roof over head and for her grandmother too. And maybe an   
  
allowance. And perhaps we should consider it for all the SiTs.   
  
Hope I haven't freaked you too much  
  
By the way, freakin cold here, way colder than Boston ever was  
  
Faith

* * *

April 2005  
  
Hey Red  
  
Thanks for sorting out the money. And yeah use whatever you need. Actually was thinking   
  
maybe a trust fund for Dawn would be a good idea. And I sorta own the club so maybe you   
  
could pay that off and I dunno can't think of anything else. I miss you guys.  
  
Heading off to Paris this week. Will miss Rula but she's got a good group behind her and   
  
she's a toughie so I think she'll do well. Still she's a Slayer and I guess we all know that's   
  
not a forever kind of gig.  
  
Anyway enough of the mopes  
  
Your friend   
  
Faith

* * *

May 2005  
  
Hey B  
  
Man you'd love Paris, I wish you were here. Plus I'd really like to talk to you but anyway.  
  
Look I know your birthday is coming up so I've booked you a flight for Paris for the   
  
weekend after your birthday. Ticket is waiting and I'll be waiting at the airport  
  
Come and see Paris, you'd love it!  
  
Faith

* * *

May 2005  
  
B  
  
Not even a no thank you!   
  
I guess you still are pissed. Though I'm kinda hoping you just haven't worked your way into   
  
the 21st century and just don't read your email. I'll keep telling myself that anyway.  
  
I had a drink and toasted you on your birthday. I hope it was enjoyable  
  
Love  
  
Faith

* * *

May 2005  
  
Red  
  
Cc: Buffy  
  
I've been thinking a lot about Rula and all the good things we did for her and then I was   
  
thinking about you guys and what we are trying to do and I hate to say it but I think the   
  
academy thing is kind of wrong.  
  
Let me explain.  
  
There are 2 reasons why Buffy is the greatest slayer ever and the one who has lived the   
  
longest.  
  
1. is obvious, it's Buffy – brave, courageous, strong, determined, stubborn, loving, giving,   
  
forgiving  
  
but 2 is the important thing  
  
2. the Scoobies – she had you guys to back her up, to support her, to love her, to give her   
  
something to live for, fight for, die trying for. Without you guys Buffy would end up being   
  
just another bitter slayer with a death wish   
  
So I'm thinking what we should be doing is going out to them, making sure they're all set   
  
up, giving them a support crew and being a hands on "watchers council" type thing (not   
  
like those fuckers though). Not pulling them out of their comfort zones telling them that   
  
they are weird and then throwing them to the wolves (which is not what we do though I'm   
  
sure to some of these teens it's what it feels like. Damn I'm starting to sound like a bitter   
  
old woman)  
  
Then maybe we could have like an annual gathering, they are very fond of festivals in   
  
Europe especially beer drinking ones :) how about a slayerfest, take back the word huh?  
  
Let me know what you think?  
  
Love Faith

* * *

June 2005  
  
Hey Red,   
  
Paris has been so amazing, I kinda wish B was here, does she ever check her email?  
  
Anyway I guess I'm on my way home August sounds perfect for slayerfest. I'll make sure   
  
I'm back for that.  
  
Yes I'm heading to London now, will try and be nice to the freaks at the new watcher's   
  
council. Glad Gman is there for a bit.  
  
See you soonish  
  
Love Faith

* * *

July 2005  
  
Dear B  
  
I'm making my way back to you, and I'm gonna tell you all things I've been meaning to tell   
  
you, everything about me and my life and I how I feel and why. All of it. Doesn't matter now   
  
how you feel about me. It just has to be said. All out in the open. No guilt, no battles.   
  
If you have someone else in your life now that's fine, just as long as we can be friends.  
  
I guess I'll see you at slayerfest.  
  
Love Faith

* * *

"Buffy?"  
  
"Yes Willow"  
  
"Do you ever check your email?"  
  
"Not really, you always tell me what I need to know about this place"  
  
"What if I'm not the only one who emails you?"  
  
"Who else wo…ah fuck. You coulda told me"   
  
"She's given you a potty mouth you know that"  
  
"Yeah I don't care"

* * *

August 2005  
  
B, Red, Dawn everyone  
  
Sorry this is a group email but I kinda don't have much time.  
  
Big Demon, apparently related to your freakin hell God. Wish I had contacted you guys   
  
and asked for help but is a little late now. Got some help from a couple of trainee watchers   
  
(shame Giles left here just last week) and some wicca group that red knows so maybe   
  
we'll be OK.  
  
Just had to get a few things off my chest, just in case, you know, anything.  
  
Dawn  
  
I love ya kiddo, you have been like a little sister to me too and I'm still so sorry for messing   
  
with you and your Mom and hope that one day you will understand and truly forgive me.  
  
Red  
  
Thanks, thank you for everything, for forgiving me, for being a friend. I truly appreciate it.   
  
You are and always will be one of the good guys. I hope the money stuff can be left in your   
  
capable hands. Give the club to Dawn and Buffy, so they'll always have something else   
  
and if they don't want it, give it to Peg, my manager down there. At the moment she just   
  
keeps all the proceeds and divvies up between the staff, don't mess her up too much   
  
please she's kinda been running the show now for 2 years. Thanks again, for everything.  
  
B  
  
I could write all the things down I have to say to you, the apologies, the explanations, the   
  
past but that would take forever and I really don't have much time, so let me keep it simple   
  
and honest.  
  
I love you, I have always loved you, mind, body and spirit. From the moment I first met you   
  
I knew you were my other half, my good half.  
  
I guess I was just too fucked up with all the other stuff to be honest with you and with   
  
myself.  
  
I prayed you felt the same, was never quite sure, and I may never know. But if we ever   
  
meet again, in this life or the next, make sure we always tell each other how we feel.  
  
Love Always and Forever  
  
Faith

* * *

Slayerfest celebrations were due to begin that evening. The girls from Europe had just   
  
arrived and Dawn and Buffy were on their way to the courtyard to meet them.  
  
"Buffy"   
  
Buffy turned to face Willow expectantly.  
  
"I've spoken to the coven and they say that they all survived the battle. That Faith was   
  
amazing but she was injured and they haven't seen her since the Ruowgir demon was   
  
defeated."  
  
"I guess she's on her way then" Buffy said, almost downtrodden.  
  
"I'd like to introduce you to Buffy"  
  
"Buffy this is Olga, Rula, Leni and Michele."  
  
"Welcome you guys"  
  
"You.. You're Buffy?..." one of the girls stammered  
  
"Sure am"  
  
"But you're just a girl!"   
  
"Well I'm 23, so not so much of a girl these days"  
  
"But Faith told us about all the things you've done, killed a God, saved the world, died   
  
twice.."  
  
"Well yeah, I did that, with some help from my friends"  
  
"But, I guess, I expected someone different, more like… like…"  
  
"like Faith?"  
  
"Well I was thinking Xena Warrior Princess but yeah I guess, like Faith. She's so amazing."  
  
"I know"  
  
"Is she here yet? She said she be here"  
  
"No, she hasn't made it yet, But I'm sure she'll be here" Buffy said, trying to convince   
  
herself.

The next morning, following breakfast, Buffy was sitting in the courtyard, re-reading Faith's   
  
emails, getting some sun. There was plenty of activity around her as the Academy   
  
prepared for the big luncheon. They allowed Buffy her solitude.  
  
Suddenly the hair on the back of her neck began tingling; a small smile reached her lips   
  
and started to fill across her face. 'Faith'  
  
She stood up and looked around but saw nothing unusual around the courtyard. A small   
  
flicker of doubt crossed her eyes, but the tingling remained. She sat down again, trying to   
  
absorb herself in the emails, and the tingling remained.   
  
'Come on Faith. Show yourself' Buffy smiled to herself, she could feel the eyes watching   
  
her, she knew Faith was here. She just had to wait til Faith wanted to be seen. Again she   
  
glanced around the courtyard, but Faith wasn't anywhere to be seen.  
  
20 minutes passed but Faith didn't reveal herself. Willow came to see Buffy.  
  
"You okay Buffy, you seem kinda tense"  
  
"She's here, Will, Faith's here, watching me. I'm just waiting for her to show herself" Willow   
  
could hear desire, excitement and frustration in her voice and see it on Buffy's face. Willow   
  
glanced around the courtyard but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.  
  
"Who the hell is that?" someone yelled and they all turned to where the owner of the voice   
  
was pointing, to the roof, 4 stories above, crouching, waiting, dressed all in black….  
  
"Faith.. " Willow heard Buffy whisper.  
  
Suddenly the figure in black stood and jumped off the building  
  
"No…" Buffy cried out as she moved forward, stopping suddenly as the ghostly black   
  
figure performed an amazing gymnastic somersault in the air and seemed to fly over   
  
towards the large tree. Landing on a large branch, the figure then ran along the branch,   
  
jumped, twisted through the air and landed, in a crouch, 3 feet in front of Buffy.  
  
As the black, clad figure slowly stood, a husky voice spoke  
  
"So, Slayer, we gonna throw down, or what?"  
  
A moment of fear flicked across Buffy's face as memories of past pain flooded her mind.   
  
But then a new confidence pushed the fear away.  
  
"I'd prefer the 'or what' if you don't mind" Buffy smiled.  
  
Again a few moments silence as the Buffy's eyes sought out the eyes of the black clad   
  
figure whose eyes were shadowed by the wrapping around the head.  
  
"Faith?" Buffy questioned  
  
"Yeah, B, you miss me?" the laughter evident as the intruder removed the wrapping from   
  
her head.  
  
"Oh God yes" Buffy replied as she threw herself into Faith's arms, "You will not be leaving   
  
me again"  
  
"God, I've been home 30 seconds and I'm already whipped"  
  
End 


End file.
